Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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