Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
