Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
