im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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