one might say we're banned from that church
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
