If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
