That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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