I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
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I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.