I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?