Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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