im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
