it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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