morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
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its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
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He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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