grandma shit on top of the toilet
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
