she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
