I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
