For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
