Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
