I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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