I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
