Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
