I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
