but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
