Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Mom said you looked used
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
