i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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