Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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