apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize