Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
