Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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