so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize