I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
