to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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