Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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