Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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