You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
