I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
