I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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