I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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