As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
