are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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