the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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