I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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