I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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