nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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