I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
