Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm always down for nudity.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
