His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
