I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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