guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
