Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
