Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
