the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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