He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
