I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
