she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
