hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
