Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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