Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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