I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
