New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
